Liar Liar
by SKRowling
Summary: Why do Joxer and Xena have such a supportive relationship, and why is it that it only bothers Gabrielle that he is always hanging around? sequel to Secret lovers set around LLHF fluff.prequel soon to follow.
1. Chapter 1

**Liar, Liar**

**Disclaimer: not for profit, just for fun… there is an enormous lack of Xena/Joxer Fics out there… and I have caught the bug because I wrote one as a challenge and now I can't stop. Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle, etc. are property of MCA Universal.**

**A/N: **This is a sequel to my previous one shot. It takes place around the episode "Lyre, Lyre Hearts on Fire". So it has a lot of the dialogue within the episode here within the story. I would suggest you read _**Secret Lover first**_, this just gonna pick up where I left off. This one is going to go quite a bit longer.

**Teaser - War**

"I can't believe how big you're getting." Gabrielle said to Xena as they sat together. She reached out a weary hand and looked at her partner.

"Alright," Xena said trying to push the annoyance out of her voice. She felt guilty because she had yet to tell her friend the truth about her baby. "Just don't go overboard."

Gabrielle happily placed her hands around her belly and then her ear and giggled as she received a kick in response. "She totally takes after you Xena."

"How do you know it's a girl?" Joxer said sitting on the other side of the pregnant woman. He had just come from the hot spring further inside the cave.

"Oh good you're done… I think I am going to go for a turn." Gabrielle said moving away from her friends. "Want to come Xena?"

"Are you kidding me? Like I need the heat," Xena said with a sigh. "You go ahead Gabrielle."

Gabrielle walked off with her pack, and Joxer knowing that for the time being he was alone with her dropped his guard. He reached out to Xena's belly with out any reservation. She growled but did not push him away. "Daddy just can't wait to see you." He cooed to the child within. He looked up at Xena who watched him with indulgence. "I want to stop in Melodia before we head to Amphipolis, they have the best musical instruments there, I want to get the baby the perfect rattle."

"I think we can do that." Xena mumbled running her fingers through his hair. It was getting harder for her to keep their physical relationship to herself. So she was grateful for unguarded moments like these.

He returned to coo at his unborn child "Who's your daddy? Who's your…AHH?" Xena pinched Joxer as Gabrielle walked into the clearing. "Xena I'm just curious… everyone is!"

"Joxer, It doesn't have a father, I am the father." Both Joxer and Xena looked at her oddly. "Xena face it I am the one that is with you day and night… Joxer is more like the annoying Uncle."

"At Least the baby will have a family." Xena said then went silent. She could hear men talking and horses galloping near by. She walked to the mouth of their shelter and peaked out onto the desert sand. "Draco…" She whispered.

"What's he doing here?" Gabrielle asked from next to her. They watched as he worked to unearth something.

"Beats me, a treasure hunt maybe," Xena said and walked slowly towards the group. A group of Amazons had suddenly appeared. Xena stopped just a few paces away from the conflict and listened to the argument.

"Here." Draco said extending a golden Lyre towards the dark skinned Amazon Xena knew as Amoria. When she reached for it, He quickly pulled it away Laughing. "Psych! No! No, no, no! Look, look-- I'll tell you what. If you want the lyre so badly-- you can pry it-- from my dead fingers."

Amoria glowered at her opponent and drew her sword. "With pleasure."

Xena, having seen enough pulled out her whip and lassoed the lyre. "Well, kids-- if you can't play nicely with your toy, I'm gonna have to take it from ya."

Everyone turned to see where the lyre had gone. Draco let out a shocked "Xena," having not yet registered the vision that stood beside her.

"What's the lyre doing here?" Gabrielle asked reaching out to touch it.

"Oh, there's more than one of them. They're hidden all over the world. It's Terpsichore's way of spreading music." Xena walked between them all and slapped Draco's hand as he reached for the lyre.

That was when he saw her. His beloved Gabrielle seemed to float next to the oaf that always seemed to be drooling on his lady love. "Hi, Gabrielle," He said reaching for her hand.

"Draco." Gabrielle said breaking free of the vice grip he had taken on her hand.

"What's wrong with him?" Joxer asked coming up behind Gabrielle.

"Baby Bliss put a spell on him." She answered him shuddering from the touch.

"Creepy."

Draco desperately reached for the most romantic thing he could think of. "Aw, how can you say it's a spell? When I would gladly tear out my own spleen and carve your initials on the side of it, just to prove my undying love for you?"

"I'm flattered." Gabrielle said disgusted at the thought.

Amoria laughed at the display, "Check it out, sisters. 'Draco the Lionhearted,' is really

Draco the Dandelion.'" The rest of the amazons joined in and Draco grew enraged. He rushed at her and they stood face to face.

"You want a war, Amazon? You've got one."

With a growl, Xena came between them and pushed them aside, "Listen to me, now.

My history aside, I despise war, because all it means is the destruction of innocent lives." She walked between the war lines and she looked each of them in the eyes. "Thousands of mothers with tears in their eyes because their children were lost so young because of war."

"War is nothing but a heart breaker," Gabrielle agreed coming next to her friend.

Joxer stood by their side saying, "It's free only to the undertaker."

Amoria nodded and sheathed her sword. "It is the enemy of mankind. Just handed down through the generations, I'm willing to find another way."

"Draco," Xena said coming in front of him, "What is it good for?"

Draco looked from Xena , to Gabrielle and mumbled, "Absolutely, Nothing." He sheathed his sword as well and conceded, "OK-- since we're not gonna battle

it out-- how are we gonna decide who gets the lyre?"

Xena looked at the lyre in her hands and smirked "Oh, there's gonna be a battle, all right- battle of the bands."

Joxer and Gabrielle looked at each other "That's a great idea Xena, We can hold it in Melodia!" Joxer suggested as he wrapped an arm around Xena's shoulder

"My thoughts exactly." Xena said as they began to walk away.

"Wait, wait, please let's not go overboard." Gabrielle said running behind them. Xena wrapped the arm that held the lyre around Gabrielle and the other around Joxer as they continued to walk away leaving the two groups in confused silence.

--

Half way to Melodia, the Trio stopped to rest and water the horse. "Xena rest, I got Argo." Gabrielle said. She didn't want to argue, she had to talk to Joxer anyway.

Joxer sat next to her offering her the water skin. She took a gulp and sighed in relief. "Thanks," She looked at him, he was pensive. Gabrielle seemed more aggressive lately, and at times Xena felt that she got out of hand in the way she treated him. "Listen, I know a way you can get her attention," She murmured.

"I don't need her, I don't, and she is just so permanently attached to you."

"Shut up and listen." Xena said grabbing the back of his neck, which didn't do much for his concentration because it reminded him of the things they did when he felt this way. "Ignore her… I saw the way that Amazon looked at you. Move on to her and make sure she is watching."

"She was checking me out? Really?" Xena nodded. "Wait, which one?"

Xena rolled her eyes. She knew Amoria to be direct; he would soon know which one. "Just look out for anyone who flirts, and take them up on their offer." She said trying to stand "Help me."

Joxer stood up and pulled, "Wow you're heavy."

"Whose fault is that?" she said unthinkingly. Joxer's eyes widened as he struggled not to drop her.

"Not mine, apparently Gabrielle's, she's the daddy." He answered.

"Ha, ha." Gabrielle said coming up behind Xena. The warrior flushed and closed her eyes at her carelessness.

"Let's get going, we want to start the set up today so we can hold the contest tomorrow." Gabrielle nodded and helped Xena onto Argo.


	2. Chapter 2

**Liar, Liar**

**Disclaimer: not for profit, just for fun… there is an enormous lack of Xena/Joxer Fics out there… and I have caught the bug because I wrote one as a challenge and now I can't stop. Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle, etc. are property of MCA Universal.**

* * *

**ACT I- Getting Ready**

Xena Joxer and Gabrielle walked into Melodia. The town square was perfect for a concert. Xena stood at the centre and yelled to the busy town folk. "All right, listen up.

Playing music's the way for a muse to inspire. So the best-sounding band will win Terpsichore's lyre."

Gabrielle stepped up next to her and added, "If the people don't mind there's a contest for peace. We'll do it right here…"

A man piped up exited "Of course! In Melodia-- music capital of Greece." Spiro went off to spread the word. So the trio set off to scout the village.

"Gabrielle' Joxer and I are going to get the rooms for tonight, and scout out an area for the stage, see if you can make sense of who wants to participate." Xena said walking away from her friend. Joxer followed her, "Grab the stuff from Argo I'll meet you back here."

Everything was coming together really fast, and there was little time. Xena stood at a corner of the busy center. She envisioned where this contest could take place. Out of one corner she could see Gabrielle as she was mobbed. She could hear her say "But you've got it all wrong there's no talent to find!" she broke away and walked near where she stood saying. "If this concert's too big I'll go out of my mind!"

Xena smirked and turned as she heard Joxer approaching. "So where are we going to do this?"

"On the bed…" she answered teasingly.

"A concert on a bed… Oh… hehe" Joxer said with a wicked grin of his own.

She ribbed him gently and walked out onto the sqare. "So I'm figuring, this'll be a great place for a stage." Joxer nodded in agreement as Gabrielle ran up to them.

"Xena-- the word is out. The bands are coming from everywhere."

"Wow." Joxer said under his breath.

"I guess the contest is gonna be bigger than we thought." Xena said really looking around now with a sigh.

"Yeah." Gabrielle agreed as joxer nodded.

"Well-- everybody deserves a chance. Gabrielle, why don't you just-- audition each band as it comes in, and make a first cut." Xena said pointing her in the direction of the tavern. "Good girl. Joxer, get together some villagers. See if you can build a stage. I'm figuring here."

"OK." He said heading off to find people.

"Yeah." Xena sighed and began to walk towards the tavern.

"Xena!" she heard a familiar voice call her name, she stopped and turned towards her mother.

"Mom!" She reached out to her and hugged her.

Her mother looked her over; spotting what she hoped was only a rumour. "So, it's true! And when were you going to tell me?"

"Amphipolis was my very next stop." Xena wrapped protective arms over her abdomen.

"Well, you look positively radiant. When are we gonna meet your-- special someone?"

Xena immediately took a defensive stance her mother was not so forward with her anymore, but she was not willing to go back to what used to drive her insane. "If you mean the father, the answer's never. He's not in my life."

"But Xena, every child needs a father!"

"You raised me on your own."

"I a test that would have been much easier with help," her mother insisted.

"I have help, Mom."

Cyrene sighed and hugged her stubborn daughter to her. "You have now." Xena wasn't sure how to take that, but she didn't really have time to figure it out.

"I'm going to go check on Gabrielle," she said and walked into the Tavern. The most gods awful noise assaulted her ears. She nearly turned and left the building again. She peeked in. Gabrielle sat with her head on the table.

Joxer walked up behind her and wrapped an arm around her middle. "What's that awful noise?" He whispered in her ear. She leaned on him, and took advantage of this rare private moment that they got.

"Auditions," She whispered, "How are you doing today?"

"I'll need you tonight." He whispered back.

"Okay" She whispered back and kissed his cheek. She broke away and walked forward wincing at the sound of the band. "Oh, Gabrielle, sign them up."

"Kill me, please." Gabrielle said dropping her head back down on the table.

Joxer tried a little possitivity, "Aw, come on. They can't all be-- mediocre."

"No, they all suck." Gabrielle sighed frustrated; running her fingers through her hair. "Sadly, everyone in the music capital of Greece is tone deaf."

Suddenly the air was filled with the most danceable music. The trio looked amongst themselves and smiled. "Maybe not everyone…" Xena said, "Come on."

--

They walked into the square which was transformed in bright colors as a man was surrounded by beautiful scantily clad men. Xena and Gabrielle smiled at each other and Gabrielle began to bounce to the rhythm. Joxer walked forward and stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn't believe what he was seeing and soon neither would his two friends.

A man identical to Joxer turned and began to dance saying. "Everyone! Why don't you all throw up your hands—and fe-e-e-e-e-el my rhythm?"

"Another one?" Xena said looking from Joxer to the other man.

"That's my brother, Jace." Joxer said his embarrassment oozed from his pores. Xena could see the tension in him. She looked at how different these brothers were. Joxer fled the square and just as Xena was about to follow him Gabrielle pulled her into the frenzy.

"Come on!" Gabrielle said urging her pregnant friend to dance. Xena soon began to loosen up dancing to the rhythm of Jace's music.

Draco walked into the square and immediately pulled Jace to him halting the hullabaloo

"You fall off the circus wagon, boy?" He growled in Jace's face, "We don't like your kind around here, freak."

Gabrielle sprung to his defence, pulling Jace out of the way. "Draco! Let's take him."

"But, Gabrielle-- I am just trying to keep you from being infected by-- by this lily-livered panty-twist!"

Xena stepped forward, a menacing air about her. "You harm so much as a hair on Jace's head—"She paused and her look turned to smouldering, her patience beginning to wear thin already. I'll scalp you. Good luck in the contest." She walked away to find Joxer.

Xena took a deep breath and let out a moan as Joxer's hands found just the right spot of tension. "What bothers you about him?" She asked as she ran her hands over his bare thighs. The water in the tub was beginning to cool they had been there for over an hour just talking.

"I don't know," he says as she moves to straddle him, "Maybe it's the fact that he's…"

"Gay?" she finishes for him as she guides him inside of her. A soft groan is elicited from her lips. "Trust me… It shouldn't reflect on you."

"I just think… It's a waste, Just a waste… It's an embarrassment."

"Joxer," Xena said softly wrapping her arms around his neck as they moved slowly. "Give him a chance… I gave you a chance. Look at where we are now."

"I embarrassed you?" Joxer asked stopping the motion.

Xena Shivered with the restraint. "Not really, I just let you be who you were, a Goof and I love you for it."

"I'm not a Goof anymore?"

Xena grinned evily and resumed motion, "No you're a stud."

She tightened around him and Joxer head reeled from the sensation and the complete boost of ego that she had just given him. "you think I have a chance with that Amoria Chick?"

"Oh yeah…" Xena Moaned and kissed Joxer halting anything else he might have to say. She couldn't think anymore.

Joxer had absolutely nothing else to say, the only thing that could make the situation better was that Gabrielle would walk in and want to join. He was seriously willing to just be with Xena for the rest of his life. If he knew that she would settle with him, he would ask her to marry him. But he knew better, he was sure that both of the women that held his affections would be unable to part from one another. Xena never discouraged Joxer from being with Gabrielle but was it that she was sure of where Gabrielle stood within that relationship?

No the Xena he knew could not be that cruel to him. He kissed her neck as he plunged inside his partner one last time. She convulsed atop him, her loud moan telling him that she'd gone where she needed to go. Her tightening walls eliciting a burn of pleasure from his head to his toes which were thoroughly curled. They held each other for an intense minute. "Marry me." It was a whisper but it was there.

"I can't," Xena answered softly, "I'm already married remember?"

"Is that why…" He couldn't finish the question because Xena turned and kissed him.

"Yes." Xena pulled away from Joxer and shivered, "It's cold in here."

Joxer stood up and stepped out of the tub. He wrapped himself in a towel and reached for Xena's hand. "Let me help you."

Xena took his help, He doted on her which was nice to have. Borias never did. She was lucky now, she had both Joxer and Gabrielle who made sure everything with her went smoothly. "Thanks."

"Stay with me tonight?" Joxer asked hopefully.

"I'll be back, Just want to make an appearance at my room." Xena consented, she felt a bit raw, maybe it was the baby but she was growing attached to Joxer more and more every time they spent these nights together.

She wore a robe and carried off her things the few steps it took to get to the room she shared with Gabrielle.

"Hey, where have you been?" Gabrielle asked looking at her wet friend.

"Public baths," Xena said taking a seat on the bed. "You make a first cut that you are satisfied with?"

"Xena it was horrible." Gabrielle said. "But yeah I think what we have left is wonderful."

Xena nodded quietly and put on a shift. "Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day."

"yeah, let's hope Joxer doesn't mess up the stage." Gabrielle said sitting next to Xena and unlaced her boots. Xena bristled, but did not say anything as she lay in her bed. "What was his problem today anyway?"

"The same problem you have with him." Xena answered starting to feel the strain of her physical activity of moments before.

"That's ridiculous; Jace is so… not Joxer."

"No… he's not Joxer." Xena answered just before her eyes closed and she was asleep and did not wake up until a few candle marks before dawn. She picked up her things and returned to Joxer as she'd promised.

She watched him sleep. He looked so sad, the lines of his face were definitely not happy. Unrequited love tended to do that to people. She knealed beside him and caressed his face. He smiled and she wondered if he'd been dreaming of Gabrielle. She leaned forward and kissed his lips and he reached around with one hand and buried it in her raven locks. "Xena…" He whispered in between kisses.

"Mm?"

"I love you too." Xena pulled away for just a second.

"Move over," she whispered. He opened his eyes then fully awake.

"Good morning."

Xena smiled, "Hey."


	3. Chapter 3

**Liar, Liar**

**Disclaimer: not for profit, just for fun… there is an enormous lack of Xena/Joxer Fics out there… and I have caught the bug because I wrote one as a challenge and now I can't stop. Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle, etc. are property of MCA Universal.**

**ACT II – Green eyed monster**

Joxer was at the town square helping out with the stage. He was hammering a plank when he hit his thumb, "Ow!" he said sticking his thumb in his mouth.

"Need a hand, killer?" There came a voice from behind him.

Joxer looked towards the voice and spotted Amoria looking at him lustfully. He looked around then back thinking that maybe she was talking to someone else. "Where? Oh-- m-me? Um-- yeah-- I am a killer. In fact, I can kill a person with a cold stare." " He paused, Xena had said that this woman might be interested in him. Maybe he was coming on too strong, so he decided to show his tender side. "But, uh, you know, inside I'm-I'm-- delicate as a-- a daisy. I'm-I'm-- inside."

"Mm-hm-m-m-m," Amoria said sidling up to him. "Don't try so hard, Joxer. Didn't anyone ever tell you the quickest way to win a woman's heart-- is by making her laugh?"

"Oh-- well, in that case, I'm the sexiest man in the world."

Just when Joxer was beginning to feel comfortable with Amoria, his brother Jace entered the stage area. His arms wide open when he saw his brother."There you are! Joxer!"

"Damn." Joxer said under his breath. He looked back at Amoria and excused himself. "Who's that guy? Why don't you wait here? I'll be back in a moment."

"You crazy fellow, you. Give your big brother a hug." Jace said giving his brother a strong hug.

"No-- Jace-- no!" Joxer said uncomfortable, trying to spare his brother's feelings.

"Play the game." Jace said with that annoying accented voice of his. Joxer bristled instantly remembering why he just didn't hang around his brother anymore.

"No."

"Play the game!" Jace insisted covering his eyes.

"No, Jace-- not now." Joxer looked around the square hoping no one was looking. Of course everyone was.

"Where is he? I don't see my little brother! Where is he?" Jace said insisting on the game of peek-a-boo. "There he is! Where have you been? I was starting to think I was an only child."

"Look, Jace-- I'm a grown-up, now. I'm not your little baby brother. And-- I'm a warrior with a reputation to protect." Joxer paused trying to regain his composure. He stood tall and looked his brother with a confidence he did not feel. "I follow my sword."

"Well, I-- I follow the music," Jace shrugged and opened his arms wide. "-- wherever it takes me. I thought you'd be happy it took me to you."

Joxer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, made my day. Now quit talkin' like that."

"Like what?"

"Like-- I don't know, that-- stupid accent of yours, like you're from Spain or somethin'." Joxer pointed his finger at his brother attempting to bring him back to being just the guy he'd grown up with. Not some self-righteous Spaniard. "You're from Olympic Street in

Athens-- two blocks from Akhmar the meatman-- just like me."

Indignant, Jace stopped trying to be a big brother. "Well, not just like you. I don't have a pasta strainer for a shirt."

"Just stay away from me-- Bro." Joxer walked away fuming, walking past Xena who had been dealing with plastering posters all over town. She looked between the brothers then followed Joxer.

Joxer walked to a railing his head hung. Low. Xena came up behind him and placed a hand on his back. She slid it around his waist and gave him a one armed hug putting her chin on his shoulder. "He embarrassed me in front of her. I was doing good, and he came."

"You are not your brother, Let him be who he is." Xena answered softly. Joxer turned his head and lean closer, but instead of kissing her he pressed his forehead against hers.

"I'm trying."

"That's all I'm saying." They let a moment pass and Xena let go of Joxer and offered him an invitation. "I'm gonna go to the tavern for some milk… I think I saw Jace go in there."

"I think I'll just go back to work Xena, we have to have that ready for tonight." Joxer walked away as Xena watched.

"That was a nice moment." Gabrielle said coming up behind her. Xena would have jumped but she was not really startled. She had sensed someone watching them which is why she had let go of Joxer. It was something that they had always been in tune with whenever they found themselves comforting each other in public.

"He's having a hard time with his brother." Xena said turning to Gabrielle, "Maybe you should talk to him. He loves you." Then she walked away to the Tavern.

--

--

"My own brother-- insulting me. Can you believe it?" Jace said to the Warrior Princess as she sat drinking her milk.

"As a matter of fact, I can." She said taking another swallow of the white gold. "Joxer likes to think that he knows who he is, but all he really knows is who he wants to be."

"That's right. And who would not want to be just like me?" Jace walked away humming. Xena raised a brow. Jace was just as arrogant as Joxer only more colourful.

Just then Cyrene walked in dragging a bewildered young man. Xena stared wondering what her mother was up to. "Oh, Xena-- Xena. Uh-- meet Phillipis. Uh-- he's a healer." Xena nearly spit out the milk she had just put in her mouth when she realized what her mother was really trying to do. She gave her mother a glare that would scare anyone that didn't know her. But Cyrene pressed on, "uh-- tell Xena about all the exciting things you've been doing with leeches."

Xena'd had enough, so she stood and put on a desperate face. "Oh-- well, that's great, because I could sure use a doctor about now."

Phillipis took a startled step backward, "Oh."

Xena smiled putting a hand on her mother's shoulder "Could you give me and Mom just a moment? Thanks" She pulled her mother to the other side of the room and whispered harshly, "all right, I'm telling you for the last time politely, I do not need help finding a man!"

"No… But finding the right man, now that's a different story."

Xena let go of her and growled "I'm beginning to remember why I left home so young," as she walked away.

--

--

"Joxer." Gabrielle said walking up next to the would-be warrior.

"Ow! What?" Came the annoyed response from the man who had just pounded his thumb with a hammer.

"What is your problem? Why were you so rude to your brother?" Gabrielle stood in front of him with her hands on her hips

Joxer, still annoyed sighted saying, "Look, Gabrielle-- you don't understand. Things are

different. We're not kids, anymore. I'm a warrior, now, and Jace is still-- Jace."

"So you're telling me that you're so heartless towards him because he's-- "

"Different?" Joxer interrupted having already had this conversation with Xena. "Different-- and, he is-- " He searched for the right words. "He's wasting his life. He is-- wasting his life. That's it. I am a warrior-- and he is--"

"-- your brother? No matter what else he is, he will always be that." Gabrielle said taking on a more nurturing tone. She was trying to bring herself to be more nurturing towards Joxer, just as she'd seen Xena do earlier. He seemed to respond well to Xena so she figured, maybe it would work.

Just as she was about to move towards him, Amoria came up and wrapped an arm around him. "Hey, Joxer. My band's rehearsing our moves. You wanna watch, handsome?"

Joxer grinned and raised a brow pointing to himself. "Do birds fly? Do bees buzz? Do I take a bath once a month whether I need it or not? You bet." He handed Gabrielle the hammer. "Hold that." Gabrielle took the hammer with a look of total confusion on her face. She watched as Joxer and Amoria walked off hand in hand.

"You're not on the back burner, now. You're smokin'." Joxer said as they walked off laughing.

--

Xena's mood began to lift as she plastered the posters around town. She whistled as she worked, feeling the sunshine on her face. Suddenly there was a looming shadow and she turned to see a big burly man standing in her light. She stood up straight and folded her arms. The man looked nervous and couched as he regarded her. "Xener, right?"

"Who wants to know?"

"I saw'r," cough, "your ad-- Single Greek female seeks marriage with stable provider-- to raise a child and to dote—on an exceptionally wonderful mother-- who doesn't look a day over twenty."

Xena rolled her eyes. "Gee, I wonder who wrote that?"

"It wasn't you?" the man said surprised.

Irritated, Xena yelled. "No, I am not in the market for a husband."

The man sighed and hung his head for a moment. "Yeah-- sure-- I understand." He paused and looked at her hopefully. "How 'bout a little casual sex?" Xena Glared and pulled an arm back and knocked him out. This totally ruined her day. This was the last thing she needed. She stormed off and continued on doing what she had been that day.

Gabrielle sat at the bar watching as Joxer watched Amoria. The Amazon flirted with the would-be warrior relentlessly as she practiced her routine."5, 6, 7, 8, and step and kick and twist and punch." Amoria stopped and sighed as one of her dancers messed up. "No, ladies! It's step, kick, twist, punch-- not step, kick, punch, twist. Again-- slowly. Step, kick, twist-- punch." She blew a kiss with that last punch. Joxer caught it and hugged it to himself.

"Why do I care? It is Joxer." Gabrielle said to herself and turned back towards the bar.

"Ain't love grand?" The voice she detested came from behind her.

Gabrielle turned towards him and growled. "Draco, I 'm busy." She wished Xena had allowed cupid to turn Draco back to normal. She was growing tired of his constant badgering.

"I've come to talk to you about our future. Now, I'm a changed man. My warlord days are well behind me-- and when I win that lyre-- I will prove it to you in song."

"I'm the reason you want-- ?"

"-- the lyre?" Draco laughed that she hadn't figured it out before. "Of course, it is! When I win that melodious instrument-- I will serenade you for all eternity."

Gabrielle shook her head in disbelief and began to step backwards. "That's very sweet-- in a completely deranged, obsessed kind of way. Draco, you do not love me. You're under a spell."

"Call it what you will, my love; just as long as you marry me. We could have a-- wedding in spring-- and a honeymoon in Crete." He reached out to grab her arm.

"The answer is no." she said pulling her arm from his grasp.

"Your lips say No'-- but your eyes scream Yes.'" He made an attempt to grab her again.

"Don't make me say it in a way you won't like." Gabrielle said taking up a fighter's stance.

"I will never give up on us, Gabrielle. You may kiss me."

"Don't even think about it. Oh! Uh! Let me get this through your thick skull. I would not marry you if you were the last man on Earth." Gabrielle fled the scene abandoning her post, forgetting the two whom she had so diligently been watching.

Joxer watched as Gabrielle walked out of the bar. He'd noticed the looks she had been giving Amoria, and had to admit Xena was right. Here was hoping that this situation would help it move along some more. Amoria was hot, but Gabrielle was the love of his life… one of the loves of his life.

He sighed and walked over to Amoria. "Hey babe… I have to get back to working on the stage. Catch ya later?"

"Oh absolutely," Amoria said and gave him a light kiss.

Joxer walked out of there with an enormous grin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Liar, Liar**

**Disclaimer: not for profit, just for fun… there is an enormous lack of Xena/Joxer Fics out there… and I have caught the bug because I wrote one as a challenge and now I can't stop. Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle, etc. are property of MCA Universal.**

**ACT III****- Aha!**

Joxer stood by the stage as it was being decorated. He cringed as his brother did his dance routine in front of everyone. He shrunk a little every time he heard Jace's voice as he practiced with delight. "Yes, that's the groove, right there. I like this groove. Yes, this does it for me. Oh, very much, very good. Mm-m-- yes, I like this one-- turn around, that's it-- back, back, step, step-- " He danced with abandon and Joxer wished he would just stop.

Amoria spotted him and walked up to him with a grin. Joxer looked at her and smiled "What are you smilin' at?" he asked putting an arm on her shoulders.

"Your brother." She said with a nod towards Jace.

"Oh. Uh-- yeah. I'm really sorry about that." Joxer said removing his arm form around her shoulders.

Jace shouted with glee, "Oh, I'm so sexy!" and Joxer cringed yet again.

"What are you apologizing for? Look at him. He's amazing! He's so uninhibited." Amoria said admiringly. Jace chose that second to do a split and really hurt himself as he went down. "Now, that is a true sign of a secure man."

Joxer did not want to be out manned by his effeminate brother. So he stood taller and thought about letting go of his inhibitions. Then he completely over compensated. "Oh-- oh, yeah-- yeah. I'm just sorry he's not dancing… more... You know-- "

Amoria smirked and turned to the flustered brother, "Hm-m. So-- think you could get him to teach me some of those moves?"

"Oh, yeah-- any-anything for you. You know? Um-- uninhibitedness runs in my family."

"Joxer." Amoria said putting a hand on his elbow.

"Yeah?"

"You're trying too hard again."

"Right. I'll go-- get-- Jace." Joxer said and walked away.

Amoria smirked and turned to her fellow band of Amazons. "Come on, girls."

Gabrielle had been watching the exchange with some interest. She couldn't believe that Joxer was falling for someone so wrong for him. Just then Xena was walking towards her. She had not taken the time to notice the frustrated look Xena carried in her features. The determined stride of the warrior did not keep her from greeting her friend. "Hi." She said tersely and continued on her way.

Gabrielle reached out and stopped Xena's progress. "Xena-- I, um-- I wanna ask you something."

Loosing her patience, the older woman paused with a sigh, "Well, make it snappy. I've got a lot of single Greek losers to turn down."

Gabrielle turned her to look towards Joxer and Amoria saying, "what do you think about Amoria-- for Joxer?"

Xena paused and smiled internally. She looked at Amoria, then Joxer and shrugged; "works for me."

"Are you crazy?"

Xena shrugged Gabrielle's arm off of her and turned to face her. "Why did you ask me if you already have an answer?"

"Because she's so wrong for him! He should be with someone that's like-- like-- "

The warrior waited for a moment, then supplied, "-- you?"

"Come on, Xena." Gabrielle rolled her eyes.

"Well, hey, if…you're… not gonna take him, it's not fair of you to stop someone …else… from trying'?" With that the woman walked away. Her annoyance dissipated as she went on her way. She was pretty proud of herself. Although she enjoyed having Joxer all to herself secretly, She wanted him to be happy and she bristled when Gabrielle so callously disregarded his feelings. Now Gabrielle didn't want him to be happy with anyone else. What if she ever found out about Joxer and her? It wasn't like Xena cared if Gabrielle got angry at her' but Gabrielle seemed to have a false sense of entitlement to the man.

She passed by Joxer and gave him a thumbs up and a wink and continued on her way.

--

--

Joxer slinked inside the tavern. He didn't know exactly how he was going to get his brother to teach Amoria some moves. Maybe just maybe if he apologized he would get the desired results. What was he apologizing for? He didn't feel that he needed to. After all Jace was the one who was wrong. He walked up to Jace determined to act as if he approved of his lifestyle and tapped his shoulder. "Jace-- how are ya, Bro?" He sat down across from his bewildered brother and continued. "Listen-- I know whatcha thinkin'-- I've been acting crummy to ya-- and I probably shouldn't 'a said what I said."

"Really?"

"Look-- you're a grown man. You wanna-- dress like a clown, and-- act like a spaz, that is …none… of my business."

"Joxer-- back in the old country… " Jace began disappointed, but Joxer dismissed his words with a wave of a hand.

"Jace-- you're not from the old country-- and you're not from Spain-- and I doubt very much if you've ever even had a plate of Paella."

Jace looked on disappointment shrouded his features like a vail, "I am-- your older brother by half an hour-- and I see that is going to make all the difference in the world. I 'cept your apology-- because I know it is as good as I'm ever gonna get from you-- because you obviously don't know any better. Adios." Jace stood and walked away from his brother.

Joxer sat there for a moment in reflection. He thought about what Jace just told him, and what Xena and Gabrielle said and he really began to feel regret about the way he had been acting. After taking the time to reflect, he had decided that he needed to accept his brother just the way he was. He stood to go find him.

--

--

Xena walked through the back stage. They were doing the final run through of the show and were cutting it real close. "All right, come on. The concert's starting soon."

"Um-- Xena, right?" she heard from behind her. She turned to face this kid with zits on his face. Tall and gangly and instantly felt her blood boil.

She took a breath to calm herself and said, "She left town-- just missed her."

The kid began to plead with her. "Before you say no, hear me out. I may not look like much, but… in a few years… when my face clears up… I'll grow up to be the kind of man your child will be proud to call Dad."

Xena couldn't help but smile at how sweet this child was in front of her. She took the flowers the kid offered her and said, "You know what, kid? That is the nicest offer I've had all day. You shouldn't be in so much of a hurry to grow up." She stalked off, her blood returning to a boil. "Mother." She growled and headed off to find her.

--

--

"Hm-m-m-m-m-m. Mm-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m." Cyrene moaned as she received this massage. Suddenly there was a sharp pain on her neck then a familiar voice filled her ears.

"I'm going to kill you."

Cyrene sat up on the massage table and turned to her frustrated daughter. "All I want is for you to have a family, Xena."

"I have a family." Xena retorted a bit frustrated. She sat next to her mother and sighed. "I've got Gabrielle… I've got Joxer… and as much as it pains me to say it, I've got you. This child's life will be filled with more than enough love."

Cyrene folded her arms beginning to see her daughter's point. "Still, it doesn't replace a father."

Xena growled and stood again, "Oh, for crying out loud, what century are you living in?" then she turned to face her mother to impress her point. "They used to say, that behind every great man there had to be a great woman."

Amoria had been watching the exchange and joined Xena and her mother, "but in these times of change, you know? It's no longer true…"

Another woman came up to them and joined the conversation. "Sisters are doin' it for themselves."

"Girl, isn't that true?" Amoria said.

Xena nodded and sat down again, "Now, what we need to do is celebrate the conscious liberation of the female state."

Amoria continued "It's a state of mind."

"Oh, we aren't makin' stories or layin' plans…" Xena said.

"'Cause a man still loves a woman, and a woman still loves a man."

"Yeah That's right." Xena smiled at her mother and hugged her.

Just then Jace popped up having heard the whole conversation. "I love it! I love it! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"You've always danced to the beat of your own drum, Xena. I suppose it would be foolish of me to stop you now." Cyrene conceded.

"Thanks, Mom."

Cyrene gave her mother another hug but then thought about who could possibly leave her daughter in such a position. She leaned back and looked up at Xena, "Now, who did you say the father was?"

Xena looked at her startled, she never thought her mother would even want to know. She thought about what she should say. Should she lie again? She smiled at her "Gabrielle." Cyrene opened her mouth to speak, but was halted when her daughter sprung to her feet. "I gotta go get the show on the road."

"Well those are amazing fingers." Cyrene said as she watched her daughter walk away.

--

--

"We still need you to perform. Can you please just warm up, in the dressing room?" Gabrielle said walking through the back stage looking for Xena. "Uh, no, you need-you need to put on your costume. Just go to the left. It's on a rack.' She turned a corner and was blocked by instruments piled in a corner. "Could we please

clear this area?"

Xena walked to the back stage trying to navigate in the chaos. "What's going on?" She turned to Gabrielle wondering what the hold up was. "Come on, the crowd's going wild."

"Xena, nobody wants to be the first band."

"All right. You go out there, and stall." She looked around the room and fixed a scowl on her face. "I'll deal with the bands." She reached out and grabbed a passer by, by the collar as Gabrielle went out on to the stage.


	5. Chapter 5

**Liar, Liar**

**Disclaimer: not for profit, just for fun… there is an enormous lack of Xena/Joxer Fics out there… and I have caught the bug because I wrote one as a challenge and now I can't stop. Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle, etc. are property of MCA Universal. Thanks to whoosh for transcript of Lyre Lyre Hears on Fire.**

**A/N: Dude… this totally did not end how I envisioned… seeing as I didn't have much of a vision for it I guess it's not that big a deal. Just don't kill me when you reach the end. So please do read and review.**

**ACT IV - The show must go on**

The show was finally underway. Xena looked around and got the bands assigned times. Draco had volunteered to go first, which totally eased some of the pressure, but now she needed to find Gabrielle. She haddn't seen her anywhere.

Xena spotted Joxer cuddled up with Amoria and caught herself beginning to growl. "You told him to go for it Xena chill." She murmured to herself to herself. She took a deep breath and walked up to them. "Amoria, your band is next."

"See you later lover…" Amoria said placing a last kiss on Joxer's lips. The idiot began to grin as his eyes followed toward the stage.

Xena glared and his grin dropped when he saw her. "I thought you were just trying to make Gabrielle jealous."

Joxer began to smirk, "yeah well… It looks like someone else is getting jealous."

She moves closer with so that no one else would hear what she was about to say, "I'll share you with Gabrielle… maybe Meg… Amoria is not right for you."

"I actually think she likes me," Joxer said feeling incredibly confident.

"Heed my warning Joxer…" she looked around wanting not to get into this discussion now. "We'll talk later, where is Gabrielle?"

"Last I saw her she was talking to Draco." Joxer said

"Xena!" Amoria said coming back, "Look, there on the stage!" Xena rushed to the stage and caught a glimpse of Draco's fire axe getting closer and closer to a caged Gabrielle. She saw Gabrielle talking to an audience member and was handed a rock.

She looked behind her and took the Lyre from where it was perched. She signaled the amazons to go on as soon as she got Draco off the stage and walked out behind him. "Goodbye, my love." playing an electric rift. Draco turned enraged. "Get her!"

Xena fought off Draco's men that were on the stage. She needed saw that Gabrielle was free and well beyond Draco's grasp. She relaxed and did away with the men on the stage as the Amazons began to play in the background.

Draco went after his captive, "Gabrielle! Wait for me, my love!" he leapt off the stage hoping to be caught much the same as Gabrielle had been caught but the crowd parted and allowed him to fall on his face.

"Xena! Xe—"Gabrielle said as she was engulfed by the crowd then caught by the arm by Draco.

"Come back!" Draco shouted then managed to catch her by the arm and spin her around. He reached for his sword with a grin. "Time to die, Gabrielle."

As he drew the sword Xena managed to wrest his arm with her whip. "Show's over, loverboy."

Draco roared with anger and turned to Xena and walked up to her. "You need to show a little respect Xena, or do you forget who I am?"

"Did you forget who I am Draco? Don't let my fragile appearance fool you" Xena glowered back.

"Not even you can stop me now Xena, because as formidable as you may be, you're slower than you used to be."

Xena laughed. "Yeah watch this slow Xena still kick your ass." Xena said pulling out her sword. "You were never in my league, and you never will be."

"I'm gonna get you for this Xena."

"Heads up Draco, 'cause here comes another for ya." Xena said just before issuing a roundhouse kick to his chest.

Draco stepped back and came up to her aggressively, but hesitated for a second. She was pregnant after all. "Xena why don't you give it up I don't want to hit a pregnant woman."

"What are you scared I might hurt you?"

"I'm the number one warlord, king of the horde. I'm out to collect my reward."

Xena rolled her eyes at his bravado, "Let's get it on 'cause I'm gettin' bored." The battle ensued. The fight was reminiscent of the fight that she had had with him soon after turning from evil. She was a little unsure that she could keep her balance and nearly fell backward but a hand caught her. She looked down at one of her hopeful suiters and she smiled at him. She gave him a thankful wink and proceeded to kick Draco's ass.

--

--

Xena tied the thugs up in the back stage. She thought this trip to Melodia would be uneventful, but she should have known better. "There, now. That's so much better," she said dusting off some invisible dust.

From the side of all of the commotion, Joxer watched Amoria cuddle up to one of the tied up thugs. "I just love a man in uniform," she was saying. Joxer sighed and rolled his eyes.

Gabrielle walked up to him trying to gauge his mood. "You all right?" she asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

Joxer tried to make it look more difficult than it actually felt. He didn't feel that much for Amoria, though his ego was a little deflated. He had Xena after all. He decided to pretend that it really bothered him so he said… "Ye-- oh-- what do you think?" He put on a show about dropping his head and shoulders.

"Joxer, she's a rocker chick." Gabrielle said signaling to Amoria. "What d'you expect?" she sat next to him and gave him a sheepish grin. "I have to admit, I, uh-- thought it was kind of strange seeing you…with…her." When she saw the smirk coming to Joxer's features she amended. "It's only 'cause I'm so used to your-- you know-- being

around me, and-- that kind of thing."

Joxer nodded folding his arms in front of him. "Mm-hm-m-- like a puppy-dog."

Gabrielle blushed as she realized how she must have sounded. "That's not what I meant."

Joxer interrupted her, "Gabrielle, you are sort of used to having me around when you need me."

She sighed and wanted to make it clear to him that he was important to her without him reading too far into this. "I know I take advantage of you, Joxer, but I care about you."

Joxer perked up. "Hm-m?"

"You mean a lot to me."

Joxer grinned and looked down at his feet. Now was his chance. "OK-- so, what are you doin' tonight?"

Gabrielle stopped him there. "Not a chance in Tartarus." She walked away having seen the other Amazons take the thugs out of the room.

"Right, because I have lots to do, as it gets-- later." He told her back and sat back down.

"Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!" came the shouts from the crowd. Xena looked up from what she was doing and listened. "Xena! Xena!"

Jace ran into the back stage "Xena! Come quick! The crowd's going wild! They want an

Encore!"

Xena raised an eyebrow. "I'd love to, but I'm fresh out of asses to kick!"

"But you just won Terpsichore's lyre!" Jace said excitedly "But if you don't want it, I'll put it in my living room-- maybe next to the bed or something."

The crowd continued to chant her name until Xena stepped out on to the stage. A loud Cheer rang out and Xena was kind of overwhelmed. But you wouldn't know it. You would never know that Xena privately dreaded performing. It wasn't in a warriors nature. Yeah she could show off, but art was too expressive. It rendered a person vulnerable and that was something she couldn't afford.

Xena had come to Melodia to witness a battle of the bands. She had secured the Lyre so she had accomplished her mission. She cleared her throat and raised the Lyre for all to see. "Now, Terpsichore wanted this lyre to spread music-- so I don't think that it's fair that only one person should own it." She raised the Lyre over her head and raised her voice to a shout. "That's why I'm leaving it here-- in the musical capital of Greece-- because Melodia-- you ro-o-o-o-ock!"

Everyone cheered and all of the performers except for Draco and his band of misfits came back on the stage for an encore. Jace and Joxer came together and came to a mutual understanding that they were who they were, but they needed each other.

"I got something for the baby." Joxer said twisting in bed to grab his pack. "Close your eyes."

Xena sighed contentedly and closed her eyes. Joxer turned to look at his partner. She looked so beautiful as she lay there. The blankets were only covering up to her hips. He looked at the hill that was his child in her womb and the valley between her belly and her breast, and he couldn't help but bend forward and kiss her lips. She responded with a moan, then a chuckle. "what is up with you?" she said after he retreated.

"Open your eyes." He whispered.

Xena opened her eyes and saw the most beautifully painted rattle. "It's beautiful," she said reaching for it. "I'm sure the baby will love it." She shook the rattle a few times then turned and hugged him. "Thank you." They kissed again then there was a crash at the door.

"Joxer I'm sorry I…" Gabrielle said turning her back.

"Gabrielle… I can explain." Joxer said shifting in bed. Xena was slightly obscured by him.

"You don't need to apologize, I kind of barged in, I just thought… I mean have you seen Xena?" Gabrielle rambled on, "Of course you haven't I mean you're busy… hey--"

Xena sat up next to Joxer. She reached for her shift as Joxer pulled on his shirt and pants. Xena nodded to Joxer and he stood to go to her. "Gabrielle…"

"Is that Xena's coat?" Gabrielle said turning her head to the chair.

"Yeah," Xena said coming up to her friend.

Gabrielle turned to face her disheveled friends, "How long has this been going on?" Her head was spinning.

Joxer and Xena looked at each other. Then Xena spoke up. "A while."

"So you don't really love me at all do you?" Gabrielle said looking at both of them.

"Woah…" Joxer said.

"No one said that." Xena said, "Joxer adores you so much… you hurt him every time you reject him." Xena looked to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "I'm just there to pick up the pieces."

"Thank you for that by the way." Joxer said softly.

"Anytime." Xena said. Gabrielle watched their exchange and the body language with each other. They were very comfortable with each other… very comfortable, she thought back to a time when Joxer annoyed Xena as much as he annoyed her.

"The baby?" Gabrielle simply asked… "That immaculate conception?"

"Oh please." Xena said turning away grabbing her tunic and dressing this was going to be a long night of explanation.

"Why would you lie to me?" Gabrielle said to both of them again.

"Gabrielle, if I had told you, you wouldn't have believed me…" Joxer started, "I mean the thought never even entered your mind when Xena found out about the baby you guessed everyone and everything under the sun but me."

"that doesn't explain why you would lie to me Xena." Gabrielle said facing her friend.

"Because… He loves you. How likely is it that you would have even thought of him had you known he was with me before. I know you've thought of him, That chat we had this afternoon attested to it."

Gabrielle sighed and shook her head. Xena reached out to touch her shoulder. Gabrielle shrugged her off. "I thought we were past lying to each other."

"I knew I would have to tell you eventually." Xena said. "It just got harder and harder the more you rejected him."

"Do you love him?" Gabrielle asked squaring off in front of Xena.

Joxer stood next to them now. "Hello I'm right here you know." Joxer said not sure he wanted to hear that response. He loved them both and would do anything for them.

Xena looked at Gabrielle and did not answer for a long time. She didn't know what her friend was getting at. If she said what she felt, there was not telling what Gabrielle might do. If she lied, there was no way they could go back to the way it was. _No more lies Xena…_ "Yeah I do."

Joxer let out a breath. He was too relieved to smile. He sat down on the bed with his own thoughts.

"How long?"

"I'm married to Ares." Xena offered as an explanation.

"What?" Gabrielle asked still not quite clear to what her friend was referring to. Xena sat her down on the bed and she sprang back up moving to a chair across the room. Xena and Joxer both recounted the tale of the deal that Xena had made with Ares to bring her back, and their resulting night of passion. "You have been carrying on this affair since then?"

Both Xena and Joxer nodded.

"Do you love her?" She asked Joxer. He was not expecting that question. He looked at Xena who stared at him with what he had come to know as affection and understanding.

"Yeah, I do." He answered.

"And you love me…" she asked as well. He nodded. "I guess… that worked out for you."

"It can work out for all of us." Xena said watching for Gabrielle's reaction.

"How?" Both of them asked.

"You can have him," Xena said

"I don't think so…" Gabrielle answered

"Guys I am right here." Joxer intervened.

"What's stopping you from just ignoring this then?" Xena asked.

"I'm in love with you." Gabrielle shouted back at her friend. Xena sat back.

"Like I said… It can work out for all of us." Xena answered not really all that used to polyamory. No matter what people thought of her she had a lot less sexual experience that advertised…. Not to say she hadn't been polyamorous before… sex is sex… but love was a whole other matter.

"Are you saying… that the three of us..?" Gabrielle asked

"We're always together anyway." Xena said.

"I'm for it." Joxer said enthusiastically.

"I don't know Xena…" Gabrielle started looking at Joxer. She really did love Joxer as a brother mostly. Now she was in love with Xena. Xena never said that she loved her more than just a friend. "You do realize that I want you right Xena?"

"I am very aware." Xena responded, "Always have been."

"You have?" Gabrielle said standing and walking back towards both of them. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"I figured you would when you were ready." Xena said.

"Do you love me Xena?" Gabrielle asked.

Xena looked at her friend with all the love she could muster. A tear began to roll down her cheek. "I tell you every day that I love you more than life itself. I mean that. Heart and soul."

"She sold her soul to save you." Joxer said reaching out to comfort his now confirmed lover. Gabrielle said nothing more and just wrapped her arms around both of them

"You two owe me for this huge lie." She whispered after a while.

"Big time." They both said with a chuckle.

"I love you guys too."


End file.
